One major takeaway I had from hearing about the life of a seemingly part time film-maker, full time friend, Nick Toti, was that caring is splendid. This week I wanted to find a Netflix Original show that ran the same lines as his life story and focus on one aspect that I found interesting and, frankly, inspiring. To explain The Fundamentals of Caring, simply, is like explaining why people do what they do. They just go for it and do it, right? The movie is intrinsically about a kid with disabilities trying to do what he wants (and sometimes what he doesn't, but he needs) and a caregiver that's helping him along the way. I honestly think it's a rad film and it reminded me of Toti's story on how he got to where he is today.
The movie opens up with a classroom full of aspiring caregivers learning about the rules of how to care, but not care too much. I'm sitting here absorbing the information, thinking why would someone need to take an actual class on how to care? Following that, if people in this class need to know how to care, they must have had really shitty lives up until this point not caring. Cut to the next scene and one of the students in caregiving class and main characters of the film, Ben, is perched on the couch in a potential client's living room. He is asked why he wants to become a caregiver and responds, simply, that he wants to help people. Some small scene cuts thereafter reveal some unfortunate life events of his and that's when I start thinking to myself, okay so it seems like this guy is trying to fill in the gaps in his life by getting a simple job to help deal with or even distract himself from his crappy life. Without giving away too much detail, Ben and the kid, Trevor, hit it off and become joke cracking, unidealized human beings that set out on a trip to explore the world of "big stuff" (since that's apparently what America is known for). Now, at this point, I'm not sure if he's purely trying to help Trevor by granting him new experiences out in the real world, or if he's trying to work through some tough stuff himself, but Ben seems serious about getting to know Trevor and wanting to get out of Seattle.
The movie goes on and more and more things remind me of Toti's life. For example, along their journey Ben and Trevor run into a hitchhiking girl that they end up helping out by driving her to Denver, Colorado. In the car she explains that her mother was always big on helping people and that she "did shit for people... like without them even asking." It seemed like that was the best thing she could say about her mom and it brought me back to Toti explaining that he tries to anticipate peoples' needs before they even ask. That level of care is quite amazing and almost a guaranteed positive reputation. As Toti was going through a divorce, as he explained, he dove into a grand project helping a friend produce a movie. The project was just what he needed to distract himself from the emotional breakdown that he would've had, so in a way the project helped him just as much as he helped it. That's essentially what The Fundamentals of Caring means in my eyes. Ben helps Trevor get through his life with muscular dystrophy just as much as Trevor helps Ben get through his crumbling life.
All in all, it was a movie that allowed everyone involved to benefit from caring about each other. Thank you Nick Toti for reemphasizing this important message, even if it was just a small sidebar of your story.
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