Gays and Frankie

Hey Mom. I know when I asked if you could help with my class you recommended that I watch Grace and Frankie. As of 1 AM the night before this blog post was due, I have not yet watched it. I was intrigued by your comment, though. You stated that you wondered how many older men remained closeted until their seventies, or late life. I then read many posts and stories on exactly that. It has proven to be something I had not expected to find much on. Beyond that one man, in a story by the Huffington Post, states that he remained closeted for his adult life due to societal pressures. This man wrote about his coming out in a book called Finally Out, Letting Go of Living Straight. He was a successful psychiatrist with a large family: five grandchildren and a great grandchild. He came out at the age of 95. That’s a little older than the men in Grace and Frankie from my understanding.

Throughout the article Mr. Olsen discusses the social circumstances that faced men if they did come out. It is stated that in the time period Mr. Olsen and others were raised in that being gay was illegal. I recently wrote a paper about this and learned that in some areas it was illegal to be gay up until the late 80’s. You would have been a child around this time mom. Not too long ago. Do you have any memories or comments on how being gay in your adolescence was different on how it is now?

One of the statements made by multiple people about why they did not come out was on the role of church and community. They felt like the church and bible were explicit, stating that if you were gay you were a sinner that should be pushed to the groups exterior. This still holds true. I know that our church The United Methodist Church is currently struggling with this dilemma trying to decide if we, as a faith community, should include LGBTQ+ members and clergy. We have had many conversations on this, since the conference to hold these discussions meets in St. Louis this February. I believe we are both on the same page when looking at this issue as well. It is surprising to me, though, how this men refer to church and the communities rejection of them. They state that these institutions were overly important and not having their support greatly hurt their reasons to come out. I think that we both have the right idea in our church, for supporting these people and giving them a place to come, grow and be merry, should be fantastic for methodism.

So I think I fell into a bit of a rabbit hole. Looking at these stories and the men behind them was quite interesting. I guess I will have to look up the inspiration of your quote and this paper and watch Grace and Frankie to learn more about these phenomena.