Parenting Development

Dear future wife,

I have recently been watching the show Arrested Development. The first three seasons are not considered Netflix Original, however the fourth season is. In the fourth season, George Michael Bluth is getting older and is now off to college. This is, however, very hard for his father, who has very little else in his life besides his son. Alright, he also has his job, but his son consumes all of his life. He gives up on the family business to start his own. He gives up the family business mostly to spite his family because they were not there for him in the past while he was always trying to impress and outdo them all. This lack of acceptance and satisfaction from his family leads to his clingy tendencies toward his son and wanting to be there for him and make sure he feels accepted at all times. This leads to a common occurrence for teens with clingy parents, they start to either rebel or try to get away. In the case of George Michael, he tries to get away by going far away to college. He goes to Phoenix Arizona to go to college. However, his dad decides to go with him. His dad starts to live in the dorm with George Michael. This is not very good parenting. When a parent does not allow their child to have the space they need and deserve in order to grow into their own person, they start to feel smothered. I know this is not the kind of parent I want to be because, I have parents like this, and I know how bad it can be at times. It is important to give your kids enough space that they can be independent but not enough space that they get away with everything. There is a spectrum of parenting seen in this show. Michael is an overbearing parent who does not give his son any space at all. On the other end of the spectrum, are Michael’s parents. They do not pay attention to Michael at all, and this makes him have a sense of emptiness. He is missing that parental approval, so he tries to fill it by other means, while still trying to get his parents approval over his three siblings. I know how this is, because I have three siblings and I’m always being compared to them, so I always strive to do better so I can be the best of my siblings. This is a pointless task, I know, but it is one that I have seen from many different people I know. This is a struggle to be better than your siblings, when really there is no need because, everyone is their own person and should not be compared to another. This is like comparing apples and bananas. They have similarities, but not enough that a comparison is warranted. This is a flaw that many parents have, they pit siblings against each other in competition, but if they worked together, they could accomplish so much more and both succeed at a higher level. I want us to be the kind of parents that get our kids to work together instead of competing.

Your Future Husband,
Josh